Review the Essay 2 Guidelines in the Assignments Overview page under the Start Here tab. Then, after reviewing feedback from your classmates in the Writer’s Workshop and revising and editing your work, submit the final version to the Dropbox by Wednesday.
here some coments from my claasmates
Two or more major errors such as sentence fragments, fused sentences, or comma splices.Needs to have attention given to these errors so that they do not continue. May have misspelled words or wrong words.
Works Cited and in-text citations need revision.
Active voice predominant, but passive voice used too often. Word choices or phrasings may not always be clear.
Author’s central meaning is presented somewhat vaguely and more textual examples are needed.
Key points are not easily understood or used as an organizational and development tool. Few examples given from textual analysis.
In-text, parenthetical citations not given.
reading the essay you wrote, you did include relevant material but I would add a few references cited directly from Manning’s essay in MLA style. This will give other readers the ability to feel the same way you are when they read yours. They may agree or disagree but it will still will spark the same thought process. As far as structure goes, the first sentence in your second paragraph could be mixed in to the first paragraph, rather than trying to connect the two. Those are just my thoughts and we all have different writing styles.
Essay 2 is a revision of your first analysis essay, Essay 1. Additionally, you will complete a Revision Worksheet to accompany the revised essay.
The Revision Worksheet is located in the Content area. Download it to your computer, then type in your responses. Save your changes. Then upload it to the Essay 2 Dropbox along with your essay.
Revision is not copy editing and simply correcting the errors that were marked by your classmates or me. Revising also requires substantive portions of new text as you develop and support the points you are making.
Look at your essay from the perspective of a reader who does not know all that you do. How can you make this even clearer and more effective for your reader? Have you used specific examples from the text, or examples from your own experience that would add weight to your analysis?
Essay 2 Rubric
Essay 2 Grading Criteria
CriteriaLevel 5Level 4Level 3Level 2Level 1
Revision Process (25 points)Creative, individualistic awareness reflected in worksheet. Aware of process and need for substantial revision. Analytical presentation of own process, and awareness of reader’s needs to be met in revision.Process for revision followed with original, creative awareness of readers’ needs.Adequate review of the process, but needs to develop this more to reflect student’s awareness of revision processes.Not adequate development of answers to worksheet. Corrections and minimal awareness of the revision process.Worksheet incomplete or missing.
Original Rewriting and Material (20 points)Contains substantial changes in essay, reflective of “re-visioning” or “re-seeing” the essay. Points are developed more with textual examples.Revision reflects additional original writing. Points and stance are clearer for the reader to understand and see. Shows development of points in analysis.Reflective of changes requested by peers and instructor. Some original material added.Corrections and clarification of points where peers or instructor asked questions or made suggestions.Little to no original wording in the revision.
Revision for Awareness of Reader and Purpose (20 Points)Introduction gets reader’s attention and makes a connection with his/her experience. Active voice used predominantly. Thesis is clear and contains key points to be developed in essay. Conclusion summarizes the points made in the introduction and body of the essay, and repeats thesis concept in different words. Leaves reader with a clear understanding of thesis and stance. Introduction and conclusion mirror each other in concepts, points, and stance.Introduction clearer and more concise than original. Thesis, stance and key points are evident. Gives reader a reason for being involved with this topic. Conclusion summarizes and reflects points in the introduction and body of the essay. Leaves the reader with a clear understanding of thesis and stance.Introduction and conclusion mirror each other in stance, key points, and thesis. Reader is aware of the thesis concept and purpose.Introduction and conclusion do not reflect much revision. Reader is not certain of the thesis and author’s stance on the topic. Needs development.Little to no revision of the introduction and conclusion. Thesis is not clear.
Organization (10 points)Revision reflects improvement in reader’s awareness of how the topic is of importance to him/her. Organization is clear to the reader. Transitions are given between sections and points. Reads smoothly with little to no interference from errors of punctuation, phrasing, sentence structure or other conventional problems. All development of points reflects back to the thesis concept.Revision reflects improvement in reader’s awareness of how the topic is of importance to him/her. Organization follows a logical, pattern which was established in the introduction. All development of points reflects back to the thesis concept.Needs some work on organization. May need to narrow and focus thesis so that the key points can be developed clearer, so the reader understands what he/she should get from this essay. All development of points reflects back to the thesis concept.Organization reflects pattern which is not clear to the reader. May wander or may not stay on thesis concept.Organization pattern is not clear to the reader